why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
