Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
