i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
