Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
