Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
