thus making me awesome and them whores
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
false alarm, still single
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
