my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
