there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
