i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
People in love make me want to vomit
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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