I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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