I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
