You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Someone shattered a urinal.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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