dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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