I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
