Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
