Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
