dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
