Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
