I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
