Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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