Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Randomize
