kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
that may or may not have been my penis.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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