If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
