Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
