how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
