he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
