I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize