You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
