clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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