shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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