Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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