are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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