i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
My cat gives me a boner
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
