in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize