ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize