tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
