i just had sex bonerless
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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