is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
