We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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