when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize