Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize