Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
