It's Friday. Sex?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
