Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
