my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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