umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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