I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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