Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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