meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
