There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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