the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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