Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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