Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize