No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
