ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
