dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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