We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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