Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
