the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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