So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
