So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
