I am puke
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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